I think I need to clarify something that I wrote previously in this blog. My bestie, has been accused me (made it sound very serious) , said that I want books, don't want friendship...! Nope, IS NOT! Just that I've been focused on friends too much, but neglect other things that all the while I want to do. You know, I've been emotional many times due to the friends stuff and I need to cut it down now. I've been hurt for uncountable times. I don't want to sad over friendship thing again. Don't want to get annoyed. Don't want to be frustrated. Don't want to so care every little thing that makes my heart feel uncomfortable. You might say I am cruel, but why don't you look things at this way-- if I keep continue like this, I will be emotional again and again, why don't you stand at my side to look at my point of view? Do you prefer the emo me? I just want to choose a new way to live well, live happily. I don't know I can make it or not, I'll try. All I want is to be happy always, ain't this is what you want me to do so? Is not that I won't put much feelings, in fact I did very much. I still care the ones I care, still love the ones I love. Maybe I show my love in a conservative way and you can't sense it? OR should I tell you what I've done for you? Sometimes, I felt like I want to do this so that my dearly friends will know how much I appreciate them. BUT then, will they keep in heart and touched? As long as God knows what I've done and as long as you have faith to me and to this friendship, time will reveal everything, trust me. I am looking for long-term friendship, not those hi and bye friends. And now we are going to graduate soon...Gosh, I really hope time will pass slow, I don't want to imagine the days after we separated, maybe I too rely and too dependent on friendship and you might don't know about this. And in fact, many things you don't know about my inner feelings. If you know me well, you will know that I am the kind who is stubborn at the appearance, soft at heart. What I've meant for the previous post is that I want to be a passive gal, take less initiative, throw away my emotional moments (am slowly trying to work on it) and want others to take initiative to concern me back, coz' sometimes I need that much too. A simple hug or simple concern will make my day turn to be better. You never know a sentence like 'How are you today' will simply make me feel that I am concerned by you. Say it only when you mean it k? No doubt, I am cool at outlook, but I am not cruel ok?
